…because sometimes we want a short, chaotic glimpse of pure mayhem.
Field trip days make me anxious more than almost anything. There are so many ways they can go wrong, and over the years my experience has taught me that most of them eventually will. Forgotten payments, sudden sickness, medical issues, bathroom emergencies — they all happen. And then there’s the family drama that can unfold when parents accompany the kids.
One year I had a child whose father was openly involved in an affair. He came to school on alternating days to “have lunch” with his son while texting the other woman. The woman’s child was in pre-K. On the kindergarten field trip this other woman decided to chaperone because it seemed like we needed more hands. She rode with the man and his wife. During the outing I spent most of my time trying to keep one little boy from slipping away into hallways or corners while the adults caused drama. I returned with a migraine and swore I would always call in sick for future field trips — not entirely an exaggeration.
This time, however, promised to be calmer because no parents were coming with us. Our first stop on this “around town” outing was the donut factory. Immediately we were warned not to touch the machinery — it gets up to 500 degrees and can cause severe injury. Not long after, a curious child pushed the button on the machine that dispenses raspberry filling when there was no donut in place. Raspberry filling splattered a girl and the floor. The staff quickly shepherded us out of the production area and pacified the kids with warm glazed donuts at 9:00 a.m.
From the factory we drove to my favorite place in Alabama: Bryant-Denny Stadium. The kids immediately broke into games — red light, green light; duck-duck-goose — and then into the usual complaints about the heat, climbing on statues, and an exuberant group pile-up. Within minutes the noise and whining required a series of promises to calm them down. Eventually we settled in the shade for lunch, hopeful for a glimpse of Nick Saban; he must have been away from the office that day.
Next we toured the locker room, tunnel, and stadium. The tour started with a large, brightly colored rug that absolutely no one was allowed to touch. Try explaining that to 80 energetic children gathered in a confined space — it was near chaos. The rug is only touchable by players, and only after a win. According to the guide, the team had only touched it a few dozen times over several years, which the kids found oddly impressive.
We passed through the tunnel, walked out into the stadium bowl, and the kids were thrilled — and so were the adults. The scale of the place impressed everyone, and it was a neat chance to see behind the scenes of a major sports venue.
I even snapped a photo of a framed picture of my favorite player — a small, guilty pleasure amid the hectic day.
When the tour ended, the bus ride home was my favorite part. Within eight minutes of pulling away most of the kids were asleep — quiet, content, and safe. No one was left behind, no one injured, and no dramatic scenes unfolded. The final field trip of the year was complete.
Final field trip of the year — done and survived.